Tony Robbins Illustrates the Real Job of Teachers

The student isn't the one who should study, it is the teacher who should. 

When a student doesn't crave....we are a hurting society. 

School is around the corner and everyone is getting ready for the structured life that comes with the change of season.  Apple picking and enjoying the vegetables of the later part of the harvest are getting us in the mood for our favorite comfort foods.  Cooler nights are nice, too.

Let' get back to the memories of school.  I am absolutely angered and disappointed in the condition of our educational system today now that I am a parent.  As I went through school I believed it was good.  I wanted to learn and enjoyed most of my subjects.  The subjects that were presented to me were unexciting but gave me a baseline.  The professions I actually pursued in life were not presented to me in high school, but I had a decent start so I could guide myself as an adult.

But the school system decides for you what is necessary to learn and as an older adult, I hate that idea.  It is dangerous. I have a child now who is subjected to a very narrow point of view. Part of it is practical.  You can't learn the history of the world adequately in twelve years.  It is condensed with a lot of bias thrown in.  If you notice today's history books are watered down and sprinkled with a moralistic view that hate and racism must be conquered.  History is what it is and  history should be just facts.  We can't change the past, and we should not tailor our personal opinions to fit our own dramas.

Discussion is fine, but opinions should not be graded.  When it comes time for an examination of the facts, opinion should not impact your grade.  Sure I hate war.  But a lot of war happened. A child should not hear the drivel of adults' emotions regarding who killed who and who started what wars because the facts become twisted over time.  Emotional baggage is not a good way to educate. Books have agendas and resorting to one book is not a good idea.

Science now is full of opinion.  The scientific method cannot be tried on everything.  Theories are still theories and should not be passed off as fact.  I do not agree with certain aspects of nutrition as it is taught in grade school. And the history of vaccines is not completely taught.  Bias looms everywhere.  Climate change is now in children's textbooks.  Again, one sided.

Math has been horribly taught.  Just look at the "eye-vomit" of today's common core workbooks. There is no way a child can focus.

The reading program is pure disappointment.

When we try to reinvent the wheel every decade or so, children are harmed.  When we narrow what is taught because we are so pressed for time to include standardized testing, children are harmed. Childhood is very short, we shouldn't waste it on what a government pushes on us as standard.

And now that we no longer have a common morality the schools are making a common core version of how we should treat each other.  I truly see racism growing as we look too much at our differences.  We are not really all that different.  Why are we exploiting each other in the name of diversity?

No one looks back on school with memories of their standardized tests or how they were graded.  Back then we were so busy trying to fluff up our transcripts and we now look back  at our schooling much differently.

We are often shocked that we survived.

Tests don't matter anymore.  And tests should not matter much at all.  The most important things that change our lives for the better do not come from a state mandated curriculum.  Our teachers share their lives with us and introduce us to the excitement of living.  That's what counts.

Tony Robbins revealed a personal life changer for him in his documentary I am Not Your Guru.  He recalled one teacher who pointed him in an individualized direction.  This teacher recognized the talent in Tony Robbins and told him how to go out in the world and cultivate it.  It did not come from a state mandated textbook or test.

If that still happens in school, I am grateful, but we need to help our teachers feel free to do that.

If you've ever taken private music lessons, you will understand what I am trying to convey.  A private teacher, tutor, or sports coach knows how to reach a student by really studying him or her.  So it's not the child who should study, it is the instructor. The teacher draws out the child's talent.  The child is not to be molded to "our way."

A talented teacher takes a subject and presents it in a way so the student craves more, not to pass a test not to get it done and out of the way to plaster on a transcript.

If a student doesn't crave more, we are a hurting society.

You can hear Tony Robbins' personal story on the documentary.  If you want to hear which teacher in his life made a lasting impact go to the one hour and 39 minute mark.  (Warning: profanity is heard at different parts of the film.)

Volunteerism Part 2: A Little Advice to Find & Keep Talent

Last week I wrote about volunteering and how important it is to the community.  I noted how a school car wash had only 5 adults doing the work.  With a  good group of participants most people can find themselves in a position that utilizes their talents, or they learn new skills as the needs are presented. But there is always the consistent problem of low volunteer turnout.  

Because of this, there is another certain predicament during which volunteers cannot leave.  Imagine that.  There are a few people I've spoken to on various boards who are unable to resign because they can't find new people to take a turn.

People do want  a change of pace and desire to step down, especially if they have been involved with a non-profit for years, even decades.  It can be simple at times, for example, when your child ages out of a group, you can hand the baton to the parents with younger kids. Selling your home and moving is also an option.  (Kidding.)

But getting back to the issue of recruiting enough volunteers can be a tricky one.

In my own experience, I will refrain from joining a group if people do not ask for help.  If they look as if they have it all under control, why should I bother?  Some people are just control freaks and chase away the meeker ones who could be loyal and hard working.  Have you ever sat on a board and couldn't get a word in edgewise? Even with Robert's Rules of Fairness?

Does any of this sound familiar?

How do you get more folks to join your cause?

1- Invite them.  A personal request, face to face.  A generic announcement in the newspaper or church gathering isn't always going to work.  Make the request heartfelt.  Talk about why you are involved.  Your story becomes their story. Relevant experiences that are shared are moving and meaningful.

2- Give people time options so they can take turns or shifts.  Don't make people feel bad if they have to limit their time for other commitments.

3- Give current volunteers different jobs so they can get a taste of all the needs/tasks.  No one wants to be the dish washer at every covered dish supper. Accountants don't always want to be the treasurer.  Maybe they'd like to use their underutilized people skills and provide companionship or greet the public. Don't assume someone likes the same job.  While some do, you won't know unless you ask.

4- Stop being a control freak.  Receive new ideas and be willing to talk about them.  Things tried in the past may not work, but let people know why and discuss it anyway. Control freaks chase away a lot of good help.  If you happen to be the control freak who is doing most of the work, you are not trusting others, and you are a poor trainer.  Letting people know how do perform certain tasks in a teaching style of communication rather than a critical style will be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

5- Shy people: speak up so the control freaks don't make you crazy.  Do it nicely, of course.  Control freaks seem to need a lot of building up. It's hidden under all their makeshift armour  they've layered up over years of perceived failure or rejection.  You are probably shy because it's your opinion that it's not worth the trouble to speak up.  But speak up anyway.  Be assertive.  Be brave and discover the pleasures of your new experiences in a worthwhile volunteering endeavor.

6- If you ask businesses for help/donations, gee whiz, be  loyal patrons of their businesses.  Business owners enjoy gushing over familiar faces.  But a stranger who walks in with a charity request is not often received well, because it happens constantly.  And DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT send a marketing person in or make a cold call.  Professional marketers are a big turn off.  The actual volunteers who are doing it for free should be making the requests.   One more thing: Give business owners a heads up before you need the money.  Don't send in someone in the next five minutes to pick up a check.  That is just rude.  Give them a week at least.  You have a budget, and they have a budget.  Paying the employees by Friday is a priority over your fundraiser.

7- Volunteers generally help each other out, build friendships that go beyond the volunteer experience, and thank each other often.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

The truth is, people with big hearts really desire to help out. While the needs are high, I believe local communities have plenty of people available to help out.  These unknown helpers may feel they don't have the time, talent, or awareness of what is needed around them. And it's just painful to step out of the old comfort zone.

Comfort Zones Be Gone!

Keep working on it.  After all, it is work, but it can be inspiring work.

The Currency of Volunteerism, the Worthlessness of a Filled Resume, and Our Fantasy Government

I was in line at a car wash fund raiser last weekend.  One of our local parochial schools was trying to raise money for its kids.  As I waited I looked around at the volunteers.  Four adults were working hard soaping and shining the cars.  One adult was busy watching the younger kids who were holding signs, making sure they were not getting too close to the street.

 Five adults running a car wash, to me is a low participation.  I know how many students attend the school.  There are more than a few families.  I know it's summer.  People may be away on vacation.  But at times I'm sure people will say to themselves, "Someone else will do it."  I, too, am a parent who is recently struggling with doing my share for my child's school because of my work schedule.

Volunteers fill such an important gap in our society.  People helping people for free, with their free time is probably the best commodity that keeps us afloat.  Stay at home moms are critical.  They are a true gift.  Paid child care is helpful at times but they  will never replace  moms and dads.

Our nation started out with an all volunteer militia.  Congress members were paid per diem until 1815. I won't go into a long history lesson, but we go so much farther with good deeds when there is no money value placed on them. We know we will get nothing in our bank account, but we will have a thriving, happy community.

Schools don't run cheaply.  Payroll and insurance are the largest bills next to building repairs and utilities.  We haven't even mentioned children yet and how they will be educated.  Odd, isn't it?

Churches feed the poor and save souls, yet parking lots and AC units need much repair.

Disaster relief agencies need money.  The hands on work is provided by volunteers, but the equipment must be paid for.

Volunteer fire fighters donate their bodies every time they fight a fire, but the trucks, hoses, and oxygen tanks need to be paid for.

Even with health insurance, families need to fund raise for the out of pocket costs, traveling, etc when someone has a chronic illness.

So, the car washes, pasta dinners, raffles book sales, garage sales need volunteers to keep our communities together.  It's this giving spirit that wins.  We feel connected and we meet people's needs.

Now, enter the recent conventions that just ended. Thank goodness.  The Republican and Democrat nominees made so many promises to us, for our votes, of course.  It's such a long laundry list of wants.  To me, it's unbelievable how we have so many unmet needs.  These unmet needs have been unmet for generations.  Do you see the poor logic here?  When did we become so helpless?

Okay, I understand, we are taxed in crazy ways for things we don't need.  The waste is huge.  The majority of it is unconstitutional.  (Just to remind you.) We pay  federal taxes and a great deal of the funds do not come back to our local communities.  Much of this happens with our state taxes, as well.

Can we step up our volunteerism to show we are self-sufficient?  Can we tell the government we don't want all the trappings of their promises of grants and federal aid?  Can we use our money the way we see fit?  That's the ultimate question.

 I remember a time in my life when college was my priority.  I had at least two part time jobs, if not three at times.  I told myself I was sacrificing for my future.   I was so engrossed in my future, I didn't volunteer for anything.  I was working and studying all the time. Well, now my future is here and I ask myself, was it worth it?  I need to make up for lost time, because I was not a part of my community.  I was an invisible citizen, keeping to myself and doing nothing for others.

At my age now, I see filling a resume is just robbing you of your self.  Jobs come and go.  You are no longer recognized for your loyalty.  Experience and education are necessary, but surely overrated.  How many students commit suicide due to sheer exhaustion and meeting frilly expectations of society or demanding parents?

The volunteer spirit has made our communities great and we must always be charitable with our free time. I will not deny that life has challenges. Our time is constrained by jobs and family responsibility.  But it is necessary to volunteer and help our closest neighbors, as well as teach this to our children by example and involving them.  We need to provide comfort to each other while we are on this side of eternity.

Being Open to God---I Mean Really Being Open

A nun from the St. Elizabeth Missions, Franciscan Associates came to Mass to speak.  In a nutshell she said she grew up thinking poverty meant lack of material things, now she knows it now as a lack of opportunity.   Here's their Link.

She worked in hospitals and education during her more than 50 years of mission work.  She brought up three examples of people she worked with who were able to benefit from the Franciscan Sister's schools and go on to pursue fulfilling careers.

In today's Gospel, the Samaritan was the only person to stop and help someone beaten up in the road.  The Samaritan felt compassion for the man and to care for him.  The injured man could not care for himself at that time.  It is a good reminder  that we have the ability to give to others who need it and it can be a very transforming for the people who accept help.

I reflected on the times when we are the Samaritan.  There are also times when we are the beaten one laying helpless in the street too injured to move.

Sometimes the person who needs help also needs to find the humility to ask for help or to allow others to provide help.  We are in a proud society and many people feel they are failing if they show their vulnerability and let others know they have a need. It's not easy to ask for help.  And it is a gift to help others who cannot return the favor.  I saw this during my time working at a nursing home.  People needed 24 hour care.  Those who were aware of their weaknesses felt bad as if they were a burden to others.  It was difficult for them to let that wall down and just receive the attention and care.

The nun also spoke of young people who were so devoted to their education that they worked very hard balancing the needs of their family and allowing for time to study.  The Franciscans made it possible for them to have a school and access scholarships for advanced education.  They didn't consider their lack of electricity or running water as a hindrance.  In fact, they were not conscious of the fact they lacked these conveniences  We look in from our own view point and see this as a detriment.  But they appreciated everything.

Afterward I walked up to her and thanked her for coming to our church to speak.  She was very friendly, of course, and really drew me out into a moving conversation.  All I wanted to do was speak to her momentarily and be on my way.  After all she was busy spreading the word about the work of the Franciscan Sisters.  I did not want to be a bother.

Then, she asked me about my occupation and I told her I am a chiropractor.  Now, she melted my heart saying how important it was to help alleviate people's pain.  I said I hoped I was helping them.  In my mind I was reliving the times I didn't feel people were making progress.  I think about them often.  I told Sister I am answering a call from God.  I'm not sure at all what I am doing but I will follow his command and stick with it.  She said that's what we do.  We keep on going for God.

It has been the rare moment when I tell others God told me to become a chiropractor. I usually tell people I want to share the benefits of chiropractic because I found the experience to be liberating and everyone should have that as well.   But, I clearly heard God's voice say I was to become a chiropractor.  I feel like Moses in the desert.  Some days (many) I have no confidence, but then again, why should I have any confidence at all?  I am not supposed to be above God.

This kind lady made me stop and think for a moment and I decided I don't have to figure it all out today, or tomorrow.
Even Mother Angelica said:
Whatever you feel needs to be done, even though you're shaking in your boots, you're scared to death – take the first step forward. The grace comes with that one step and you get the grace as you step. Being afraid is not a problem; it's doing nothing when you're afraid."

Here's another Mother Angelica gem:  Get back to the basics, your prayers.

Thank you, ladies for your words. 

Cars, Phones, Coffee, and Sneakers

(Source: bestwalkingfeet.com)
I took a walk this morning.  It's a nice quiet time to be alone and enjoy my thoughts.  It's a good outlet compared to my crammed, stressful thoughts during the work day.  So I walk and think.

I came up to an intersection at the same time a car slowly approached.  Being the nice person that I am I hate to make other people slow down and at times I walk behind a car.  Pedestrians have the right of way and I know you cannot trust that.  How many people get hit downtown when drivers should be driving less than 30 m.p.h. because there are so many parked cars and walkers?

As I walked behind the car that had now stopped for the stop sign, my thought at that moment was, "What a nice color.  Some kind of dark red blended with maroon."  The driver was a young man.  I don't know how young because I assume everyone is just very young compared to me.  My next internalized thought was, "Wow, I had a crappy rust bucket for a car when I was young."  And I reveled in my old memory of a $300 used Chevette that allowed me to complete my student teaching during my senior year of college.

The guy shouts at me:  "I'm sorry!"  He really yelled.  By this time I was behind his car heading for the sidewalk on the other side of the street.  Why would he apologize?  His window on the passenger side was closed so I made a hand motion that I wasn't concerned.

He rolled down the window and repeated his apology again with an explanation.  "I am so sorry.  I was texting.  I shouldn't text."

I didn't think of it.  I didn't see his head down.  I really wasn't looking at him.  I was looking at my walking path and making the decision to walk behind the car so he didn't have to wait for me to cross. There we were, two people in our own worlds coming to an intersection.

He apologized.  I said, "Don't worry, I was walking behind your car anyway."  He said, "Have a happy fourth."

So, there you go.  He was feeling bad for texting as he approached a stop sign.  I really had no intention of crossing the street in front of him whether he was texting or not.  I was defensive walking.  We learned in driver's ed about defensive driving.  We just happen to go through life with defensive living. And if we are pleasant about it, we end up pleasantly surprised at times.

I continued on with my walk and was approaching the Dunkin Donuts.  A car was left running and I assumed the driver was inside getting his coffee fix.  I live in a small city where people feel comfortable enough to leave their car idle and rush into a store. It's not legal in NY, but some people do it anyway.  He must have continued on with his day, in his car.  There were no police cars when I came back.

I then walked past a house where two men were outside looking tense.  One man said, "She must have my keys and took it."  The other man was using a cell phone.  Again, a cell phone and a car.

Before my walk was over I crossed paths with a man leaving a convenient store.  He had an energy drink in his hand.  He looked happy to have just purchased a cold soft drink since he appeared to be walking rather than driving and a walk can make you thirsty.

My last part of the walk takes me through a strip mall near my house.  One of the businesses is a gym. Work out music could be heard since the door was propped open.  Gym members were jogging past me as I headed down my street.  No running for me today.  I was happy to get two hill climbs on my walking route.

Have a great day.

Teach Teens to Understand Pain

Heroin

(Source: www.teendrugsrehab.com)
Kids in sports?  Injuries in sports addiction to opiates?   Yikes.
(Source: CDC, https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugfacts/prescription-over-counter-medications)

That's the latest on young people who become addicted to opiates.  Before they go begging for the street stuff, it all starts in the medical offices.

Teenagers who play sports get hurt.  It happens.  It is a given.  Sports medicine is a big niche now.  Colleges are giving out scholarships based on sports performance.  It's an exciting time for a kid.  And also full of pressure.

If you read the news reports, teenagers are given pretty strong pain meds to help them get through an injury.  Just one taste is all it takes.  

The brain is delicate for all of us. We should be respecting our brains.  But for children, the brain is in constant development up to age 25.  The brain is still immature developmentally for quite a long time.  The wiring is still primitive you could say.

Look at very young children.  They  want want want all day long.  They need parents to keep their desires in check.  A child that doesn't know how to share needs to learn by having toys taken away and given to another child.  A child that only wants cookies needs to not have cookies.

When it comes to children and pain, we don't want them to hurt.  Most children are lucky enough to get to adolescence without major diseases or injuries.  They don't know what serious pain feels like.  When they do experience pain, they need to be reassured that it is a normal part of the healing process and they need to patiently wait it out.

Caution here.  I did say "normal" pain.  The kind that is not ominous.  It's not cancer or a stoke.  But a sprained ankle does hurt, so does wisdom teeth surgery and conservative precautions can be taken while the body mends itself.

The prescription option for teenagers should not be necessary.  Basically we need to teach our children to handle pain.  There is no quick fix.  We need to teach our children to live in a tough world.

It's been a hard lesson for some.  Young people have died because their brains were exposed to a strong addictive chemical and they just couldn't get enough.  Cherish the brain.

When Did Sports Become More Important than Your Immortal Soul?

Does anyone see why I find this image to the left offensive?

Do we have to strive for college sports scholarships starting in 3rd grade?

Just asking?

Are we so over-scheduled that we can't make it to Mass on Sundays or Saturday Vigil?

Who thought it was a good idea to play and practice sports on Sunday morning?

Can't parents just say no and put a limit on kids' activities?

Since when did the rush of adrenaline on the field or screaming in the stands become more profound than bowing to our King of the Universe in front of his altar?

When did the body and blood of Christ become a dusty, relic of a concept when it is actually His promise and command?