The Shack Shock and What It Really Means

I have not seen the movie version of The Shack. I did read the book. Since it was  more than five years ago, I really don't remember much of the book.  I can tell you I felt the story line was "far out there" meaning the author was pulling the story line beyond typical expectations of character development.  

Since this was a book about a grief stricken man meeting up with the three persons of the Trinity, it is perceived by some as a Christian themed book that could teach the tenets of Christianity.  

However, as one reads through the novel, it is soon realized it is not a guide to the Bible.  It is a work of fiction that borrows some Christian thought.  

For me, I remember I was taken in by Mack's massive emotional pain.  Readers who have suffered their own misadventures and heartbreak can practically relive their own grief while reading this book.  It is very powerfully written and anyone with empathy can feel for this fictional character.  I brings out a piece of your own broken heart to the surface as I recall it brought me to tears, even though it was a novel.  After I read it, I didn't think about it again, until now when the movie debuted.

Here is where the controversy comes in:
People who are very strong in their faith will have tremendous worry over those who are not as strong in their faith.  The strong ones understand that a story like this can possibly draw others into a watered down version of Christianity becoming a roadblock rather than an open road.  

Strong people don't want others to be wrapped up in a gushing type of emotion, because that is not what Christianity is about.  Christians are challenged to be:
Like obedient children, do not act in compliance with the desires of your former ignorance but, as he who called you is holy, be holy yourselves in every aspect of your conduct, for it is written, "Be holy because I [am] holy."
1 Peter 1:14-16      www.usccb.org

People strong in their faith know it is not easy to be holy.  Strong people don't want others to be lured into a bubbly worship scene that might let them down later.  

People strong in their faith are concerned that others who believe The Shack could be a creative teaching tool of Christianity may replace a God-fearing attitude with a godlike fabrication that helps them meet their worldly needs rather than their souls' needs.  

Why do people who are strong in their faith give a warning to others about investing time in The Shack book or movie?  Perhaps it is because they have not forgotten what it was like for them when they were weaker Christians. 

They have a clear memory of what they were like when they stumbled over and over again, making up excuses, rationalizing their habit of sin.  

They remember what it was like to live a life where they ran from Christ, laughed at Christ, believed they stood fine on their own without Christ, and bragged how they knew better than an old-fashioned mythological person named Christ. 

They remember how easy it was to fall for lies, dress up their own ugliness and hide from the truth of their tragic decisions.  

Those who are strong in their faith don't want anyone else to live needless self-torture.  They would rather share their joy and help people skip the sadness.  

So, are they judgmental?  
No and Yes.
No, they are not judgmental of you or anyone else.  They love you. They want to spare you.  That is the point of making disciples of all nations.  And, yes, they are judgmental of themselves.  They are comparing their ignorant selves to their current more discerning selves. 

If you have enjoyed the book and movie, that's nice. If you're not so keen on the book and movie, that's nice, too.  It brings up interesting dinner table conversation.

Why do I call it Shack Shock?  Because it forces followers of Christ to have more patience with each other.  Each of us is on a different walk with Christ.  Sometimes we're behind him.  Sometimes we're side by side with him.  Sometimes we are kicking him.  Sometimes we are on the ground grabbing at the hem of his garment. Sometimes we are clinging to his hand squeezing it with all our might. 

College: A Bad Idea

Listening to Dave Ramsey, he wants people to pay for college without loans.  On his radio program he talks about the many ways someone can get through school without the horrible trap of debt.

From what I am seeing recently on television about activities on college campuses, no intelligent person should walk the quad or enter any building.  Young people are running around yelling at each other for having a differing opinion. Administrators are announcing what is acceptable speech and telling students how to initiate sex.  And we let our children, who don't have the lifetime experience we have, attend such places of so called higher learning?

What do you get with a 4 year degree anyway?  A lot of rejection and advice that a Master's degree should be next on your list.

A lot of courses don't even provide necessary skills training to be successful in the workplace. I don't want to expend the energy mentioning these unworthy courses.  Just google "useless college courses," and be ready to fall off your chair.  These are credit courses.  Really.

Colleges are a fantasy world all their own.  Folks in the late 30s and early 40s will tell you they are still struggling with school loan debt along with the regular expenses of life.  That means these institutions of higher learning are out of sync with the real economy.  The towns where they are located in are dying all around them and the administrators don't take notice. But the Stafford Loans are riding in on galloping mustangs ready to suck an unsuspecting student into financial ruin.

A lot of young people will admit that they learned more about the real world at their first jobs.  They learned management skills, how to talk to customers, and how to follow organized systems. I bet you know kids who had to return to their first jobs to make ends meet while searching for a position related to their degree.

And speaking of degrees, google "the most useless college degrees," and see which groups have lousy employment rates.  My advice if you are in college: take these as minors and pick a major degree in something you can immediately use upon graduation.  In fact, if these awful degrees are truly interesting to you, pursue them as hobbies in your spare time.  You will still find pleasure in them.

Since I have been out of college (the first college stint) 29 years ago I realize I was my own best teacher.  Experience sticks in your brain for life and it is free.  If you concentrate on good reading, writing, and math skills in your teenage years, you can teach yourself anything.  And, there is nothing  that doesn't top excellent communication skills to get you through important doors.

The biggest disappointment with college for me is the lack of entrepreneurial encouragement.  I was taught how to build a fancy resume and get a job.  A job is nice, but not a place where people should stay.  As much as business experts talk about anointing the worker as a creative and appreciated participant in a business or organization, the worker is usually treated with disdain as someone who can't be trusted and must be constantly supervised like an inmate in a prison yard.   Often there is a whole lot of back stabbing and not much promoting up the career ladder.

No one taught me how to make positive change in the world.  It must come from within.  We were taught how to blend in with the world and be followers.  All at a hefty price tag thanks to unrealistic college requirements.

It seems college instruction is like force feeding a baby nasty mashed up spinach, because students are fresh out of high school and vulnerable to this kind of financial exploitation.

Your own drive matters more than anything,   I suggest people work a year or two before college and start their own businesses.  Then, they can go to college with a better mind-set where they will have more of a say in how their tuition dollars are spent.



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We Are All Bullies (Part 2)

(Image Courtesy: CLICK HERE.)

The other day after I posted my We Are All Bullies post, I listened to an intriguing call on Dr. Laura.
She was talking to a husband of  22 years who was told for the first time that her spouse was sexually abused by a male sibling.  He was upset and felt cheated of a loving wife.  He struggled with her  intimacy issues for 22 years and then was expected to just continue this one sided marriage.

Dr. Laura then said society has maintained the sacredness of the victim.  The victim is not held accountable for their own behavior and end up harming most of their relationships.

It's honorable to help a victim get out of victim-hood.  It is terrible to be so overly sympathetic that the victim can become a moody, self-centered, annoying person who takes for granted the nice people in their lives.

So, when you dwell, you are a living hell.

Criticize me if you want, but you've experienced this same type of person in your life.

Megyn Kelly's Story and How Bullies Create Bullies

We're All Bullies. Some of us just show better restraint.

(Photo: Amazon)

I  listened to Glenn Beck interview Megyn Kelly about her new book, Settle for More. She mentioned how she was deeply hurt by the bullying she experienced in high school. I believe many of us can look back on our school days with a “love-hate” gut wrenching feeling. Some parts of high school were memorable, but other events were horrible. Megyn Kelly said it took her about twenty years to let go of the bullying memories which were affecting her outlook on life. And the sad part is that is sticks with us longer than we'd like to admit.

We always hate the bully and feel sorry for the victims.

However, we must look at the bullying issue with real honesty because the victim turns into the bully, as well.

The reality is we are all bullies. 

I look back painfully at times in my twenties when I was the mean girl.  And after looking back at all the times I was picked on by other kids from grade school through college, I am still shocked that I repeated the behavior later on.  I had a rotten attitude at different jobs when I perceived favoritism and unfair treatment.  I was often angry when I was not recognized for my hard work and dedication.  Even though I earned raises, I disliked the slow climb up the ladder.  So, I took it out on my coworkers, and sometimes my supervisors. If crap was being dished out, I slammed it right back.  

Luckily, I realized my immature behavior and decided taking things personally was not part of any job description. What I did was not productive and showed a vengeful angry side of me I am now ashamed to admit. 

The cycle of bullying goes on.  Remember, we are all responsible.  I could have shown more restraint.  At the time I didn't want to. 

Update:  Check out my part 2 - how Bullies Become Bullies.  Read here. 

Tony Robbins Illustrates the Real Job of Teachers

The student isn't the one who should study, it is the teacher who should. 

When a student doesn't crave....we are a hurting society. 

School is around the corner and everyone is getting ready for the structured life that comes with the change of season.  Apple picking and enjoying the vegetables of the later part of the harvest are getting us in the mood for our favorite comfort foods.  Cooler nights are nice, too.

Let' get back to the memories of school.  I am absolutely angered and disappointed in the condition of our educational system today now that I am a parent.  As I went through school I believed it was good.  I wanted to learn and enjoyed most of my subjects.  The subjects that were presented to me were unexciting but gave me a baseline.  The professions I actually pursued in life were not presented to me in high school, but I had a decent start so I could guide myself as an adult.

But the school system decides for you what is necessary to learn and as an older adult, I hate that idea.  It is dangerous. I have a child now who is subjected to a very narrow point of view. Part of it is practical.  You can't learn the history of the world adequately in twelve years.  It is condensed with a lot of bias thrown in.  If you notice today's history books are watered down and sprinkled with a moralistic view that hate and racism must be conquered.  History is what it is and  history should be just facts.  We can't change the past, and we should not tailor our personal opinions to fit our own dramas.

Discussion is fine, but opinions should not be graded.  When it comes time for an examination of the facts, opinion should not impact your grade.  Sure I hate war.  But a lot of war happened. A child should not hear the drivel of adults' emotions regarding who killed who and who started what wars because the facts become twisted over time.  Emotional baggage is not a good way to educate. Books have agendas and resorting to one book is not a good idea.

Science now is full of opinion.  The scientific method cannot be tried on everything.  Theories are still theories and should not be passed off as fact.  I do not agree with certain aspects of nutrition as it is taught in grade school. And the history of vaccines is not completely taught.  Bias looms everywhere.  Climate change is now in children's textbooks.  Again, one sided.

Math has been horribly taught.  Just look at the "eye-vomit" of today's common core workbooks. There is no way a child can focus.

The reading program is pure disappointment.

When we try to reinvent the wheel every decade or so, children are harmed.  When we narrow what is taught because we are so pressed for time to include standardized testing, children are harmed. Childhood is very short, we shouldn't waste it on what a government pushes on us as standard.

And now that we no longer have a common morality the schools are making a common core version of how we should treat each other.  I truly see racism growing as we look too much at our differences.  We are not really all that different.  Why are we exploiting each other in the name of diversity?

No one looks back on school with memories of their standardized tests or how they were graded.  Back then we were so busy trying to fluff up our transcripts and we now look back  at our schooling much differently.

We are often shocked that we survived.

Tests don't matter anymore.  And tests should not matter much at all.  The most important things that change our lives for the better do not come from a state mandated curriculum.  Our teachers share their lives with us and introduce us to the excitement of living.  That's what counts.

Tony Robbins revealed a personal life changer for him in his documentary I am Not Your Guru.  He recalled one teacher who pointed him in an individualized direction.  This teacher recognized the talent in Tony Robbins and told him how to go out in the world and cultivate it.  It did not come from a state mandated textbook or test.

If that still happens in school, I am grateful, but we need to help our teachers feel free to do that.

If you've ever taken private music lessons, you will understand what I am trying to convey.  A private teacher, tutor, or sports coach knows how to reach a student by really studying him or her.  So it's not the child who should study, it is the instructor. The teacher draws out the child's talent.  The child is not to be molded to "our way."

A talented teacher takes a subject and presents it in a way so the student craves more, not to pass a test not to get it done and out of the way to plaster on a transcript.

If a student doesn't crave more, we are a hurting society.

You can hear Tony Robbins' personal story on the documentary.  If you want to hear which teacher in his life made a lasting impact go to the one hour and 39 minute mark.  (Warning: profanity is heard at different parts of the film.)

Volunteerism Part 2: A Little Advice to Find & Keep Talent

Last week I wrote about volunteering and how important it is to the community.  I noted how a school car wash had only 5 adults doing the work.  With a  good group of participants most people can find themselves in a position that utilizes their talents, or they learn new skills as the needs are presented. But there is always the consistent problem of low volunteer turnout.  

Because of this, there is another certain predicament during which volunteers cannot leave.  Imagine that.  There are a few people I've spoken to on various boards who are unable to resign because they can't find new people to take a turn.

People do want  a change of pace and desire to step down, especially if they have been involved with a non-profit for years, even decades.  It can be simple at times, for example, when your child ages out of a group, you can hand the baton to the parents with younger kids. Selling your home and moving is also an option.  (Kidding.)

But getting back to the issue of recruiting enough volunteers can be a tricky one.

In my own experience, I will refrain from joining a group if people do not ask for help.  If they look as if they have it all under control, why should I bother?  Some people are just control freaks and chase away the meeker ones who could be loyal and hard working.  Have you ever sat on a board and couldn't get a word in edgewise? Even with Robert's Rules of Fairness?

Does any of this sound familiar?

How do you get more folks to join your cause?

1- Invite them.  A personal request, face to face.  A generic announcement in the newspaper or church gathering isn't always going to work.  Make the request heartfelt.  Talk about why you are involved.  Your story becomes their story. Relevant experiences that are shared are moving and meaningful.

2- Give people time options so they can take turns or shifts.  Don't make people feel bad if they have to limit their time for other commitments.

3- Give current volunteers different jobs so they can get a taste of all the needs/tasks.  No one wants to be the dish washer at every covered dish supper. Accountants don't always want to be the treasurer.  Maybe they'd like to use their underutilized people skills and provide companionship or greet the public. Don't assume someone likes the same job.  While some do, you won't know unless you ask.

4- Stop being a control freak.  Receive new ideas and be willing to talk about them.  Things tried in the past may not work, but let people know why and discuss it anyway. Control freaks chase away a lot of good help.  If you happen to be the control freak who is doing most of the work, you are not trusting others, and you are a poor trainer.  Letting people know how do perform certain tasks in a teaching style of communication rather than a critical style will be the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

5- Shy people: speak up so the control freaks don't make you crazy.  Do it nicely, of course.  Control freaks seem to need a lot of building up. It's hidden under all their makeshift armour  they've layered up over years of perceived failure or rejection.  You are probably shy because it's your opinion that it's not worth the trouble to speak up.  But speak up anyway.  Be assertive.  Be brave and discover the pleasures of your new experiences in a worthwhile volunteering endeavor.

6- If you ask businesses for help/donations, gee whiz, be  loyal patrons of their businesses.  Business owners enjoy gushing over familiar faces.  But a stranger who walks in with a charity request is not often received well, because it happens constantly.  And DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT send a marketing person in or make a cold call.  Professional marketers are a big turn off.  The actual volunteers who are doing it for free should be making the requests.   One more thing: Give business owners a heads up before you need the money.  Don't send in someone in the next five minutes to pick up a check.  That is just rude.  Give them a week at least.  You have a budget, and they have a budget.  Paying the employees by Friday is a priority over your fundraiser.

7- Volunteers generally help each other out, build friendships that go beyond the volunteer experience, and thank each other often.  Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

The truth is, people with big hearts really desire to help out. While the needs are high, I believe local communities have plenty of people available to help out.  These unknown helpers may feel they don't have the time, talent, or awareness of what is needed around them. And it's just painful to step out of the old comfort zone.

Comfort Zones Be Gone!

Keep working on it.  After all, it is work, but it can be inspiring work.

The Currency of Volunteerism, the Worthlessness of a Filled Resume, and Our Fantasy Government

I was in line at a car wash fund raiser last weekend.  One of our local parochial schools was trying to raise money for its kids.  As I waited I looked around at the volunteers.  Four adults were working hard soaping and shining the cars.  One adult was busy watching the younger kids who were holding signs, making sure they were not getting too close to the street.

 Five adults running a car wash, to me is a low participation.  I know how many students attend the school.  There are more than a few families.  I know it's summer.  People may be away on vacation.  But at times I'm sure people will say to themselves, "Someone else will do it."  I, too, am a parent who is recently struggling with doing my share for my child's school because of my work schedule.

Volunteers fill such an important gap in our society.  People helping people for free, with their free time is probably the best commodity that keeps us afloat.  Stay at home moms are critical.  They are a true gift.  Paid child care is helpful at times but they  will never replace  moms and dads.

Our nation started out with an all volunteer militia.  Congress members were paid per diem until 1815. I won't go into a long history lesson, but we go so much farther with good deeds when there is no money value placed on them. We know we will get nothing in our bank account, but we will have a thriving, happy community.

Schools don't run cheaply.  Payroll and insurance are the largest bills next to building repairs and utilities.  We haven't even mentioned children yet and how they will be educated.  Odd, isn't it?

Churches feed the poor and save souls, yet parking lots and AC units need much repair.

Disaster relief agencies need money.  The hands on work is provided by volunteers, but the equipment must be paid for.

Volunteer fire fighters donate their bodies every time they fight a fire, but the trucks, hoses, and oxygen tanks need to be paid for.

Even with health insurance, families need to fund raise for the out of pocket costs, traveling, etc when someone has a chronic illness.

So, the car washes, pasta dinners, raffles book sales, garage sales need volunteers to keep our communities together.  It's this giving spirit that wins.  We feel connected and we meet people's needs.

Now, enter the recent conventions that just ended. Thank goodness.  The Republican and Democrat nominees made so many promises to us, for our votes, of course.  It's such a long laundry list of wants.  To me, it's unbelievable how we have so many unmet needs.  These unmet needs have been unmet for generations.  Do you see the poor logic here?  When did we become so helpless?

Okay, I understand, we are taxed in crazy ways for things we don't need.  The waste is huge.  The majority of it is unconstitutional.  (Just to remind you.) We pay  federal taxes and a great deal of the funds do not come back to our local communities.  Much of this happens with our state taxes, as well.

Can we step up our volunteerism to show we are self-sufficient?  Can we tell the government we don't want all the trappings of their promises of grants and federal aid?  Can we use our money the way we see fit?  That's the ultimate question.

 I remember a time in my life when college was my priority.  I had at least two part time jobs, if not three at times.  I told myself I was sacrificing for my future.   I was so engrossed in my future, I didn't volunteer for anything.  I was working and studying all the time. Well, now my future is here and I ask myself, was it worth it?  I need to make up for lost time, because I was not a part of my community.  I was an invisible citizen, keeping to myself and doing nothing for others.

At my age now, I see filling a resume is just robbing you of your self.  Jobs come and go.  You are no longer recognized for your loyalty.  Experience and education are necessary, but surely overrated.  How many students commit suicide due to sheer exhaustion and meeting frilly expectations of society or demanding parents?

The volunteer spirit has made our communities great and we must always be charitable with our free time. I will not deny that life has challenges. Our time is constrained by jobs and family responsibility.  But it is necessary to volunteer and help our closest neighbors, as well as teach this to our children by example and involving them.  We need to provide comfort to each other while we are on this side of eternity.