We Are All Bullies (Part 2)

(Image Courtesy: CLICK HERE.)

The other day after I posted my We Are All Bullies post, I listened to an intriguing call on Dr. Laura.
She was talking to a husband of  22 years who was told for the first time that her spouse was sexually abused by a male sibling.  He was upset and felt cheated of a loving wife.  He struggled with her  intimacy issues for 22 years and then was expected to just continue this one sided marriage.

Dr. Laura then said society has maintained the sacredness of the victim.  The victim is not held accountable for their own behavior and end up harming most of their relationships.

It's honorable to help a victim get out of victim-hood.  It is terrible to be so overly sympathetic that the victim can become a moody, self-centered, annoying person who takes for granted the nice people in their lives.

So, when you dwell, you are a living hell.

Criticize me if you want, but you've experienced this same type of person in your life.

Megyn Kelly's Story and How Bullies Create Bullies

We're All Bullies. Some of us just show better restraint.

(Photo: Amazon)

I  listened to Glenn Beck interview Megyn Kelly about her new book, Settle for More. She mentioned how she was deeply hurt by the bullying she experienced in high school. I believe many of us can look back on our school days with a “love-hate” gut wrenching feeling. Some parts of high school were memorable, but other events were horrible. Megyn Kelly said it took her about twenty years to let go of the bullying memories which were affecting her outlook on life. And the sad part is that is sticks with us longer than we'd like to admit.

We always hate the bully and feel sorry for the victims.

However, we must look at the bullying issue with real honesty because the victim turns into the bully, as well.

The reality is we are all bullies. 

I look back painfully at times in my twenties when I was the mean girl.  And after looking back at all the times I was picked on by other kids from grade school through college, I am still shocked that I repeated the behavior later on.  I had a rotten attitude at different jobs when I perceived favoritism and unfair treatment.  I was often angry when I was not recognized for my hard work and dedication.  Even though I earned raises, I disliked the slow climb up the ladder.  So, I took it out on my coworkers, and sometimes my supervisors. If crap was being dished out, I slammed it right back.  

Luckily, I realized my immature behavior and decided taking things personally was not part of any job description. What I did was not productive and showed a vengeful angry side of me I am now ashamed to admit. 

The cycle of bullying goes on.  Remember, we are all responsible.  I could have shown more restraint.  At the time I didn't want to. 

Update:  Check out my part 2 - how Bullies Become Bullies.  Read here.